Quote of the Day

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Quote of the Day: "How do you draw molten lava?"
What I'm reading: Just finished My Life as an Experiment, by AJ Jacobs, and Bossypants, by Tina Fey.

Why must August always bring dread? I keep a weekly list of things I dread, just so I don't have to have that lingering feeling of dread at the back of my mind that keeps me from being carefree and cheerful. In July I had just a couple things-- actually, just one thing, over and over, thank you ENT specialists looking out for my well-being-- but now I have a long, diverse list of things I dread. Plus half of them involve decisions, which I'm not good at, because I'm Aries-- impulsive and, actually, just impulsive-- but also I'm better at seeing all the possibilities than at recognizing the best one.

ARG. And don't even get me started on my children going back to school.

A long dread list is not a good way to start work on a humor book!

2 comments:

Anna-Christina said...: OMG. Sort of the opposite of a gratitude journal. I love the list that you've posted, and feel bad that it made me laugh. Dread is no laughing matter.; August 9, 2011 4:05 PM
Cherie said...: I'm with you on the kids going back to school dread. ARG indeed.; August 12, 2011 8:26 AM

Quote Commonplace

Don't go all Dad-Skype on me.
sweeping up into a three-legged dog.
She gave us white eat?
I'm housekeeping with my mouth.
You had me at rectangular.
The only emotion she shows is her hair.
We have survived an Alchemy of our living space.
Watch out for the dew.
It's either just fruit, or cupcakes and liquor.
We have couple's scratch paper.
Go back to baking.
I have to play nice at the VBS-kick off.
Gazumped by gardeners!
Can I put you down then for twenty sheep beans?
I have never been so mean with my glare.
Should I re-steal the baskets?
I thought I'd go spirited.
It's hell being a cat-hoarder.
I know goats with other interests.
I wish I had a bear.
I am totally unprepared for the total eclipse of the moon.
I hope I get an A on my penguins.
I got a lot of mental throat-clearing done.
They were not impressed with my fake children.
The white powder accentuates the clown hair.
Those aren't statues, they're hedge people!
Would you also follow the beaver?
That's an off-shore email account.
I figured I had wine so I might as well get bananas.
Your eco-friendly sticker just ruined my notebook.
It really does all come back to cows.
Cat toys are always the conundrum.
They're as clear as a drink of water.
I want to get my hopes up!
I know how to speak Joe.
You should treat your pancakes with more respect.
Face your back to me.
I spat my song out.
Teachers don't earn clues.
Ah, yawnage!
I'm learning a lot of rules about the pantry!
You missed some off-the-chain organ playing.
Mine's going to have hamster overhairs.
This is no time for sparkles.
I procrastinate on the fruit.
I'm holding your leg for safe-keeping.
Next year I'll go back to the lobster.
Ink means think.
It's the fluff ball of death.
That would make a good title: The Power of the Snout.
After bus duty, what is there?
At 42, it's almost impossible to pass myself off as a 6-year-old Inuit.
Everything's good with crowns.
"Rote" for beginners!
This is going to be as mind-scarring as I can make it.
I get it. The theme is "Do more, get less."
Like the Navy Seals of the library.
Technology is a wonderful theory.
You can do a lot with a rubber mallet.
I need you to help me throw away a sweater.
My name is vulture and a foot.
If I were stuck on a dessert island, all I would take is a fork.
I am magmanimous in my linguistic accrediting.
Prepare to be hilarisized!
There was fun to be stolen at the tidal pool.
They're boring and we drink too much.
He chased away the cuteness.
Oops, I was almost irritable.
There was a black snake on the porch and I swept him off with a broom.
No one likes a laser in their face.
Did you see the guy with discus arms?
Life is better with socks.
Silence your ntses.
How come they get bibo and we don't?!
I don't get English, I just talk it.
I always wanted to shoot fire from my hands.
Let's call our band the Strutting Ram Options.
Do you want me to cut you out a flock of flamingoes?
Everyone lip syncs eventually.
Palimpsest annoys me.
I can't take another Barbie breakdown.
It was the most pompous sausage ever.
Not everyone should do their own landscaping.
I used my knowledge of polygons.
It has a more wysiwyg approach.
Hey, who is your squid child?
I don't often get the chance to cheer for Delaware.
Perhaps you should identify yourself with the masses and gain some confidence.
I'm not a big fan of mixing food and art.
I don't want to knock the Dead Sea Scrolls.
It has all the blah blah blah of wine.
I dropped a pearl of milk.
I have a new respect for carnations.
Yeah, I want a bigger bathroom so I can circle around the toilet.
All my torture is instructive.
If that's my style, I'll take it.
I need sycophants.
Subject-predicate, subject-predicate, we get it.
I want to be the patron saint of people who don't know what to do.
The vultures never lie.
He doesn't look very Asian. It must have been an Occidental pregnancy.
You didn't have the personal blessing of a god to back you up.
Procrastination really makes time fly.
It's brain crack for him.
The things I have killed with my bare hands since I became a mother!
I suck up evil glares and recycle them.
I said a prayer for the sad spiders.
I didn't even know anything came before lettuce.
The eyeballs are just for show.
I'm picturing cornmeal.
I don't have to be careful; I have a magic wand.
I drink from home.
Get 'er done, buddy.
Critique my system of magic please.
They made fun of me for my berry disease.
This isn't about making your life more comfortable.
Good. Now you can go vote.
It's tough when you can only roast marshmallows on a lamp.
How can I put this into words. 'Turtle, I must kill you!'
It's my fault. I was watching the crane.
Good grief, cats in the collards!
Unless you are insensible with fever, you had better come along.
What was with Pericles's skirt?
If it was free, I'd buy it.
What's the name of the cookies you're taking for your cold?
Best of luck with the gods of appliances and repair!
If I'm not working I think there's something wrong with me.
My wishful thinking isn't working.
It's dangerous to leave home or even not to pay attention for a few minutes.
The only reason my hair's combed is because we had a red light.
Are you looking for the swords?
I'm going to strike down your sheep.
My goodness, look at all the bonnets coming in.
I was trying to get Al to be God.
I've never read anything by Thoreau. But I lie and say I have and then quote Dead Poet's Society. It usually works.
Watch out for clowns on unicycles.
You got my dodgeball genes.
I forget sometimes about Belks' subterranean level.
I will be upset, though, if I get sucked into oblivion after putting so much time into my statistics homework.
You should see it with the pitchfork.
I'm just tired of being in a pillowcase.
They take my leg and leave me.
So far, I haven't had a gritty shirt.
Science cannot create anything that has not been already found in nature.
The cute ones are always high maintenance.
Lots of animals shoot blood out of their eyes.
Yeah, I'll go with these little jokers here.
Sorry, my pocket went off.
I like to sous-clean.
The search committee wanted preppy that year.
When would Google oogle you?
Everything was disgusting, never offer me that again, I hated it, and I had zero fun.
Stop Hermesing me.
Don't kill my behind!
You can't rely on the big logs.
You're being so normative.
The trees will think of something.
I wish every day were primitive living skills camp.
It's experience, not conviction.
When you're hot and snorting and grouchy, then you're 'red hot angry.
On those days when you have too many digits.
Stop thinking and eat your dinner.
Your hope has paid off.
Request permission to return fire.
Well, at least I still have coupons.
Mission un-complished!
Your herbal medicines, your saws....
What was I thinking when I decided to earn a living?
Perhaps you need to revisit the grid.
Surely I have stuff to slough.
Is it someone who rhymes with pal?
The shoe got angry.
It's not shee-shee Africa.
Perhaps you should consider the Epicurean approach.
There are some hard-core Disney people out there.
It's hot like summer, not Hell.
James Brown makes Mick Jagger look like a soccer mom.
Sartre and Camus must have spent lots of time in ER's to write the way they did.
So what you're saying is, you have walk-way rage.
What kind of preserve are you people running?
Give me a shovel and I'll stand there.
If a wink balances on the rim of the pot, it is counted as potted and is put in the pot.
I am a walking coupon.
Thank you, long-distance eye!
Oh the drama of a carpool line disrupted!
All this poetry is going straight to my stomach.
Blame it on a deer stampede.
Tell your mother to spank the ketchup.
I've resolved my black hole.
I don't care about that, Google.
It was the result of a crazed finger.
"there are, in my hierarchy, two kinds of facts. There are boring facts, which I merely wish to get away from as quickly as possible, and interesting facts, which I then wish to make up stories around and subvert as the plot demands. 'Learning' facts is not on the list." --Robin McKinley
Would love to do something other than a scrapbook page. I love the flowerpot.
Fear is my super power.
We'll get some hops and make it happen.
I'll just fall asleep and hope I wake up in Pittsboro.
There's something to be said for getting a paycheck.
It was all I could do to keep from laminating curse words.
My kids get all the sucky counties.
They're gonna tango with their hats off.
I am allergic to right now, too.
Stop with the parentheses!
But the electricity is inside.
I apparently don't even have the skills of a hot summer's day.
Not when you have a Barbie birthday.
The mind reels at the potential for disaster.
It really has a soft spot on my heart.
Then we sit on the carpet, and everyone fidgets.
Working hard for an A was cutting into her lying around time.
Take that, bus stop people!
Sorry, my morning has been limited to verifying project authorizations and periods of performance for contractual sub-tasks.
Everybody gets props, from Jesus to Houdini!
Is that rain or chicken?
You're dumbing things up... or smarting them down.
Does that mean all giraffes are neo-cons?
I don't speak car.
There's nothing in my contract against saving the world on my own time.
When you get off there, remind me to email Frank Stacio.
Hugs, not handshakes!
[T]here’s just a lot of extra negotiation necessary to hammer out the boilerplate.
We're Chinese, so we don't want to get pinched.
I grew up on a farm, and I know the difference between honey bees and no bees.
Henry David Takes the Wheel!
I'm not ever one to garnish.
It is an hour colder!
I'm not invested in the kids enough to be mean about it.
Nothing wrong with a presser foot and a little vodka.
They're bored, lonely, and they have extra minutes.
What's your next project? Wii Tennis domination?
balloon-animal wielding clowns
...one of the tunnel leading to fighting the giant serpent thing scenes if you need a cultural reference.
I will be doing all things Piedmont.
I don't feel like "rip". I feel more like "snort."
You think Comanches compromise?
Chicken liver makes my soul soar.
Songs are like your kids....you don't know if they're any good or not until you get them around other people.
I'm not nearly the threat I'd hoped I'd be.
NASA, of course, isn't even here yet.
I didn't want to separate you from your wine.
On sunny nights it's easier for the air to warm.
Go to Personal Information and Set Visual Text Box Editor Options to Unavailable.
My memory is poor when I'm staring.
We can't just drive through Bynum with mattresses in the back. It don't look right.
Can I say, 'Too much academic boilerplate'?
In your face, science!
Perhaps yahoo is on your side.
I had a bangs spurt.
It's not that I don't love you, I just need to fill this water bottle.
Why is it always the things you can’t see that cost the most?
Nothing says 'guide' like cappuccino!
That's the blissful side of being a federal employee.
She won my good mood.
I spent 15 minutes turning on all my appliances-- the dishwasher, the washing machine-- and then I sat down exhausted.
Damn you and your classics!
It is true, I might have resisted forcibly with more or less effect, might have run "amok" against society, but I preferred that society should run "amok" me, it being the desperate party.
The rain was tough, terribly wet but we tried to manage....
Some QOTD should be the bizarre letter combinations Blogger forces us to decrypt before commenting.
This 'hi' will expire in 30 days.
Somebody stabbed me with the Sleepy Sword.
It's nibblets and gibblets coming your way.
Wow, can't stop the culture!
There are no fog horns in Congress.
Monastaries are not good for science.
One generation's achievement is another generation's punishment.
Leave, or I'll report you to the HOA.
You know when the French horns start there's going to be some serious -kicking about to happen.
You should base your stand up comedy routine on your experiences at Uni Mall!
Nothing torpedoes happiness like peppermint.
They don't return dirt.
Put that on your blog.
This is what comes of shooting your sister with cannonballs.
I've brought for the class the finest snack Jeff's Convenience Store has to offer.
It needs flashing trees and cookies guarding the Christ child.
He's not keeping up with his inchworm.
Elves do not make electronics.
Children don't understand time, effort, and money.
Only Tuesday and Thursday are cape-flying days.
If you'd get off Europe....
I don't run habitually; I'm just a social runner.
Don't forget to put the Christmas gun up, too.
She already has a crock-pot; what else could she want?
You, of course, are a vinegar drinker.
I never girl wrestle.
That's some old-fashioned imaginary equipment you got there.
Woah! I almost swung around that lamp post!
You need super powers to dance like Clara.
My hair is pre-brushed.
Porcelain, you mock me!
Don't forget your octopi.
Prepare to be whelmed!
Suppose I told you in dog language that she needs medicine?
You learn better when you sleep.
I don't get grits.
We put all our eggs in the basket that is [biotechnology.]
Talking to Mr. Invisible Man, perhaps?
He's just eating his way to the other side of the petri dish.
I was distracted by a shiny object.
I was a conflicted cowgirl.
Why do I have to do all the watching?
They will have Day of the Dead again over my dead body!
This from the woman with a severed foot in the hallway.
Why does this say 'barbecue?' What, are we in Texas now?
I've always had good luck with supplement people.
Don't overwhelm the chicken.
I can do a half-marathon...of t.v. shows.
I still cut wood with a chainsaw, which has nothing to recommend it but speed, and has all the faults of an airplane, except it does not fly.
It would be like guacamole every day.
...we were all reading magazines like we were going to take a test.
Wow! You could be a pole dancer!
I gave her some muscles yesterday.
To really know someone, and love them, is an astonishment.
Doesn't this car have Defrost In Your Face?
I know, I know, I'll put in the graves this weekend.
I am so done with science.
You're always quoting somebody else. Don't you have a mind of your own?
Every day the world gets a little more global.
I put the 'nada' in empanada.
I think some ducks are poisonous.
Little or no homage is paid to the pig.
I am all the stars.
Every writers' conference needs a dog.
Uncool, mosquitoes, uncool.
You should always ask your daddy before you get a motorcycle.
Then there are the people dressed as furniture.
I'm only allowed to look in the mirror twice a day-- when my mom can see me.
The dog comes with the purse.
An effortless life is, to a restless mind, a weary fate to be doomed to.
The synapses are coming together.
We got an old computer on the porch, instead of a washing machine. We're updated, baby.
This morning's topic: How YouTube is improving your life.
The moral of the story is: he shot an elephant.
I'm doing an experiment with electromagnetism.
Which dump do you go to?
God is from out of town.
They need more hip hop clothes for dogs.
We may have only rats on sticks, but we're honest.

Quote of the Day

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

2 comments:

Should we flatter Reader 1's vanity, and organize the QOTD sources by quantity?

Should I give the context of the Quote of the Day?