Clever Comeback Cards

Quote of the Day: "sweeping up into a three-legged dog."
What I'm reading: Math Power. A little dry for something intended to make math's fun apparent.

One of you, devoted readers (and you are the best, all four of you!), has kidded around with me about starting an alternative line of greeting cards, for unsolicited advice. I think there is a real and serious need for greeting cards that say that which is hard to say. Most greeting cards say all the easy stuff ("Happy birthday!" and "My condolences... I am so sorry for your loss" and the ever mysterious "Thank you") which leaves you with nothing personal to add. Then you have to think, pen hovering over the enormous space below the gold embossed sentiments, of something perfect to round off the easy part the card called dibs on first.

But forget that. That's peanuts to how truly polite people feel after encountering rudeness. You want to go back in time, now that you've finally thought up a perfect rejoinder for the crass or hypocritical. Couldn't we use our hindsight to create cards just for such moments? Such as, "What punishment did you decide on for what your son did to my daughter?" and "Would you like to think about my request for personal leave before or after you leave work early on Friday as usual?" and, for any occasion, "Wow, I can't believe you just said that." All in pretty flowing script, with friendly birds or squirrels, or beaches, or cartoon characters.

Then all you have to add is, "Love, Mary."